A Life Alone
by LadyBranwen2012
Summary: Gohan recounts why he loves Videl when he goes to her wedding--to another man. Please R&R!


Hello!  This is my newest fic.  It's a Gohan/Videl one for a change.  This is a one shot, sorry guys! Please read and review!

~Lady Branwen~

 Disclaimer:  DBZ isn't mine

**_A Life Alone_**

When I watched her walk down the aisle to that other man, my heart broke in two.  All these years we have been friends.  I remember when we were younger and I had so much trouble talking to her at school.  I was sort of a geek back then, but mainly only because I wanted to keep a low profile.  I'm not exactly a normal person, right?  She was always following me around, being suspicious of my whereabouts and my motives…Then once she found out what she wanted to know, she blackmailed me, to put it in simple terms.  It was nothing too bad, I only had to teach her how to fly, but still, I was deathly afraid that she would tell the world that I was the Great Saiyaman.  

So much has happened from that moment on.  And every single minute since then I've loved her.  I even knew I loved her when I first saw her, even if I only knew it deep down inside.  Until recently it has lain dormant in the recesses of my soul and in my heart.  It was only when I received her wedding invitation that it suddenly hit me: Videl Satan should me my wife.  Videl is perfect for me.  I love her.

I spent hours after receiving that invitation trying to figure out a way to stop the wedding.  I wanted to whisk Videl away and tell her everything I felt.  I wanted her to change her mind and marry me instead.  But how could I do that to her?  I argued with myself.  It was almost as if there were three of me, just like Sigmund Freud had theorized.  There was the one side that screamed, "Just go get her!  She's yours!  You know it!  Don't chicken out!"  Another said, "But if you love her that much, why would you want to hurt her like that?  What if she really loves this other guy?  Do you want her to not be happy?  Maybe she doesn't even like you.  You shouldn't force her to make a choice between her friend and her fiancée a week before her wedding."  Then there was the lone thought, the one who was really me, not my conscience, but the one who waited for the other two sides to make sense or come to a conclusion.  

Finally I had decided to just go for it. I wouldn't go after Videl and force her to love me or take her away from Brandon, her fiancée, but I would tell her that I loved her and ask her to marry me, even if it did seem rude to do so just before the wedding.

"Oh, Gohan," she had said.  She looked flattered, but sad for me at the same time.  She touched my cheek and spoke to me gently.  "I only think of you as a friend.  All these years we've just been friends.  I like our relationship like that.  I just can't see us being married…you're not exactly the richest guy in the world…we're probably not compatible."

"So it's about money, is it?" I asked a little more coldly than I wanted.

"No, no, of course not," she said shaking her head.  "It's just that we come from different backgrounds.  You're not really my type anyway, Gohan.  I know I shouldn't really say that and I'm sorry if all this is hurting your feelings, but…would you want to be in a marriage where it wouldn't work out?  Why should we get married if it's all going to fall apart?"

I looked at the ground and muttered, "Some say that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.  But I guess that's not your kind of thinking is it?"  Anger was building up inside of me as I went on.  "Look, Videl, I know my family isn't rich.  But that doesn't matter to me.  When you speak to me, do I talk like I live in a bad section of the neighborhood?  Do I talk like a hick?  Do I dress like I found these clothes on the side of the road and decided to wear them anyway?  Do I smell so bad that I make you think that I haven't taken a shower in weeks?  When you have eaten with me in fast food joints or in fancy restaurants, have I not had good manners?  My family may not have all the money in the world like you and maybe I wasn't raised with etiquette teachers, but I can still be polite and act the same way as people who have more money."

"Gohan, I didn't mean it like that…" She looked upset that I had taken it the wrong way.  

I was upset that I had taken it the wrong way too.  But I had acted so hostilely toward her that I felt like I had no other choice but to continue being angry.  It wasn't really that difficult to do anyway.  I was rejected and we both knew it.  With every second I looked at her, a part of my heart would continue to break, slowly but surely.

"You want me to be happy, don't you?  I'm happy with Brandon.  He's more my type.  Look, Gohan, I want to thank you for teaching me how to fly and how to fight better, but I don't know how you got that I was falling for you from that…You're a good friend.  I know I can tell you anything and you can keep it a secret; I trust you, Gohan.  If I ever needed to depend on someone to save my life, it would be you."

"If that's so then why are you entrusting your life to someone who can't protect you?  I can protect you better than you can protect yourself.  But this guy can't do anything.  He doesn't even know how to fight, Videl.  You'll be protecting him, not the other way around.  I know you don't like thinking that other people should protect you.  You like being independent and not depending on anyone else, but what about if something does happen?  You're Videl Satan, once of the richest people in the world.  Don't you think that maybe at some point someone will want to hurt you or your family?  Maybe kidnap one of your children or even yourself?  If one of your children is kidnapped, you will be the one rescuing it.  If you are kidnapped, you'll be waiting for the cops to find you.  But…if I were your husband, I could protect you.  IF somehow you were managed to be kidnapped from under my nose, you know that I'll find you and save you."

Videl giggled.  "What about if I hire you for my bodyguard then?"

I didn't laugh.  "It's not funny, Videl, I'm serious."

She stopped laughing and became somber fairly quickly.  "Gohan, I'm sorry, I just can't leave him."  She was getting uneasy having to reject me so many times.  "Look, I have to go.  I have to meet Brandon to talk about some stuff for the wedding."  She grabbed my hands that were hanging limply at my sides in defeat and held them in her own.  "Gohan, I'm sorry you had to go through all this trouble…I'm flattered, I really am.  I'm happy you love me so much and it makes me feel like I can trust you and you won't let me down if you love me this much."  A tear began to slowly wind its way down her face.  She tried to laugh it off…She never really was comfortable showing any sign of weakness.  She tried to lighten the mood by saying, "It's too bad you didn't tell me all this before I met Brandon, huh?  Maybe we would be getting married right now instead.  I don't know what you were thinking, Gohan.  You know I can't just leave Brandon.  We've been engaged for two years…we've known each other like a year after I graduated.  It's a long time to love someone, Gohan, I can't leave him now."

"I've loved you since I met you," I murmured, "and we were in high school then."

"I guess you know what I mean then," she said, realizing just how serious I was.  "I'm sorry Gohan."  She looked at her watch.  "Oh, geez, I really have to go now."  

She grabbed my ears and pulled my head down to her level and kissed my cheek.  She smiled and said, "I hope that you can still come to my wedding.  If you don't, that's okay.  I'll understand."  She turned to walk away, but stopped and turned around.  "Oh, and don't worry, I won't tell Brandon anything you said.  He kind of gets jealous."

Videl waved to me and walked to her car and drove away.

"So do I," I had muttered as I watched her drive away.

Now that I'm sitting here at her wedding and having any remaining hope for our love stripped away from me, my heart completely breaks.  I don't know why, but I guess I had hoped that maybe our little talk would get to her and maybe she would leave Brandon.  But I guess not.  It seems like I just can't comprehend how this could have happened, how I could have let her slip away from my grasp.

She smiles at him as if there is no one else in this world that she can possibly love as much as him.  Why did it all have to turn out this way?  Why couldn't I have talked to her sooner?  Why couldn't I have began showing her how much I love her when we were in high school, before this guy even had a chance with her?  I can't believe that I couldn't bring myself to just talk to her sometimes.  I was always so nervous.  

She's so beautiful…Her eyes are glistening with tears that she is struggling to keep from falling down her face.  It's odd that she let the one solitary tear fall down her face for me, but refuses to cry in front of her soon to be husband, even on their wedding day.  

Everything is a blur to me.  I'm so lost in my own thoughts I hardly realize that most of the ceremony is over.  He has already said his vows, now it's on to Videl.

Everyone is waiting with bated breath to what is going on.  Hercule is standing proudly at Brandon's side.  He's obviously happy with the choice that Videl has made.  People all around the church are happy for Videl.  I must be the only one here without a smile on my face.  My face is slightly contorted in angst, but I keep struggling to keep it emotionless at the very least.  I don't want Videl to think I hate her or that I don't want her to be happy because I do want her to be happy.  It's just not working out though.  Several of the women in the church are crying; I've heard weddings do that to some people, but I'm not struggling not to cry because of the wedding…I'm losing a part of myself.   

One time, a long time ago when I was around seven years old, I went on a camping trip with my father.  At least, that's what we had told my mom, but really were going out for some intensive training.  One night after we had finished training, we huddled together near the camp fire waiting for the food to finish cooking.  It was that night that my dad decided to explain to me about mating.  I'm still not sure if that was his true mission for the camp/training thing, just to go through all that in order to get me alone and tell me about all that stuff.  Anyway, he told me that Saiyans have a different way of going about things when they are going to choose the person they are going to marry.  The thing is, they don't have to get married.  Instead they mate with the other person and mark them.  After that point, they are lifelong mates and nothing can come between them.  They are joined even before they mate by a bond that grows stronger with every moment that they spend together and even the time they don't spend together makes it stronger.  Dad wasn't sure if all that would work out the same with me because I'm only half Saiyan and maybe I would take after my human traits more.  But I guess I found out.  What else could this intense pain in my heart be but my bond with her being broken?  This can't possibly just be a human emotion…I've never felt any emotion so strong.  So, I do have that bond thing with Videl…I wonder if she has bond for me?

The preacher has finished speaking and now it's Videl's turn to say 'I do.'  Before she does, she glances at me, way in the back of the church.  "I do," she says clearly.  I close my eyes and nod slightly.  Again, I feel my heart and soul being ripped out cruelly.  

"Are there any here who can give good reason why these two loving people should not be wed?"

Videl casts worried eyes at me.  Brandon follows her gaze and his jealous, cold eyes meet mine.  A few people sitting next to me also look over at me.  Obviously my inner struggle has not eluded their vision.  Even the preacher looks at me after taking notice of the stares being thrown in my direction.  He gives me ample time to say something, but I just sit and look back sadly at Videl.

"Then," the preacher said, still looking at me in case I decide to cry out all my objections, "by the power vested in me by the Lord, I now pronounce you…" He looks at me again.  Videl is still glancing every few seconds in my direction.  Does she want me to break up the wedding?  Is she trying to throw me a signal to let me know that she'll be okay with everything and will gladly leave him for me if I cry out, "Stop!  They shouldn't get married!  Videl should be my bride."  Of course not.  Even if she is, how would I know?  She's probably waiting for me to do it, yes, but she probably doesn't want me to ruin the best day of her life.  "Man and wife."  Their lips lock together and the pain gnawing inside of me intensifies greatly, but I close my eyes and bear it.

The wedding music picks up and everyone cheers and congratulates them as they walk happily down the aisle together.  And here I am, still sitting somberly in my chair.  Handfuls of rice are being thrown into the air around Videl and Brandon and a few grains land at my feet.  They rush out of the church, Videl laughing with delight and joy for their union.  I sigh and get lazily to my feet.  People are crowding around the church doors and I push past some of them to get a last look at Videl before she leaves.  I won't be seeing her at the reception; I can't possibly sit all that time watching her smile and kiss him or even watch them dance together.  I want her to be happy, but I can't bear to watch it all unfold before me and not be able to be happy for her.

Before she gets into the car, she turns one last time to wave to the crowd of onlookers.  Videl sees me and I force a smile at her and wave.  She turns back and walks up the steps to me, the crowd separating allowing her to pass.

"Hi, Gohan," she says softly.  "Thanks for coming."  Videl hugs me and pulls back.  "You're probably not going to go to the reception, are you?"

I shake my head.  

"Okay," she says.  "I understand, Gohan.  I'm just glad that you were here."

Brandon appears and stands next to her throwing me a threatening look.  I throw one right back at him.  

"Um, come on, honey, let's go."  Videl senses the tension and pulls Brandon away from me.  He really isn't right for her.

They're in the car now and I watch all hope being driven away from me.  As the limo pulls away from the curb, I see their form pulling together in a kiss through the rear window, just like in the movies.  But I can't see the love anywhere in this.  She won't be happy.  I'll never be happy.  My one chance for happiness, my lifelong mate, has chosen someone else and now I'm forced to live a life alone.


End file.
